Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity makes a victim question their reality, to gain more power. It works much better than you may think.
It is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders; it can be anyone who can be susceptible to gaslighting.
This is a process that is done slowly so that the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. For example, in the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind.
What is Gaslighting?
According to Dr. Jyoti Kapoor Madan, Sr. Consultant, Psychiatry & Psychotherapy at Paras Hospitals, Gurgaon, Gaslighting is the term used to denote emotional abuse in a relationship. It’s a form of abuse with a significant impact on the mental and emotional health of the victim. The perpetrator usually talks in a manner that makes the victim question himself or herself and gradually starts losing confidence and self-esteem.
“The constant suggestion is that they are less than adequate or have some flaw, makes the victim start believing in negative traits being told to him or her and gradually slips into a state of helplessness. Perpetrators are generally the people who themselves suffer from inferiority complex and try to prove themselves better by exaggerating or even inventing flaws in the partner,” she said.
Effects of Gaslighting:
Dr. Kapoor said, “One usually doesn’t realize that one is being emotionally abused because the focus is always on what the victim doesn’t do right. One often gets to hear blatant lies that confuse the victim, along with snide remarks and suggestions about people one cares about.”
“They may manipulate by praising at one end and then continuing with a tirade of what could be better. The process is subtle like a frog put in water being slowly boiled. One feels a sense of exhaustion after interacting with such an individual and still feel that somehow he/she is the cause rather than the victim,” she added.
If you are being constantly put down despite knowing that you have the potential, you are probably being gaslighted ! she further added.
Gaslighting can have catastrophic effects on a person’s psychological health. The process is often gradual, taking away the person’s confidence and self-esteem.
And as a result, they may start believing that they deserve the abuse.
Warning signs of Gaslighting according to reports are:
• They tell blatant lies
• They always have a habit of denying things they ever said, even though you have proof.
• They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
• Their actions never match their words
• To confuse you they throw in positive reinforcement
• They project a lot
• They try to align people against you
• According to them everyone else is a liar
• They tell you or others that you are crazy
